the test, again

Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment, where my doctor wanted to discuss my failing the 3 hour glucose test. It is official that I have gestational diabetes. I am not too surprised, as I do have a family history. And, as well, I was diagnosed as insulin-resistant before getting pregnant. I had to go meet with the dietician, and this could prove dicey as my insurance may not cover "nutritional therapy" for gestational diabetes, only diabetes. My doctor was livid when I told her this, because she pointed out that maybe they'd rather cover NICU for two months, or a c-section? Ha! She's a firecracker, this one. The nutritionist was very nice and showed me how to check my blood sugar, and keep a food journal, and eat at certain times. Basically, as she put, I "must watch the clock like it's my job." Because I have to eat breakfast at 8:00, snack at 10:00, lunch at noon, snack at 3:00, dinner at 6:00 and snack at 8:00. Eating is no longer about pleasure, but purely about combinations of carbohydrates and proteins.

I know this diagnosis isn't the end of the world, but it's the end of my world. Everything changes, and I don't always do well with change. I asked the dietician, "How am I supposed to go to the store?" If I have to eat, then work out for 15 minutes 30 minutes after eating, then test my blood sugar two hours later, that leaves me a little more than an hour before I have to test. And I'm not comfortable with the whole thing yet. I have to put serious consideration into every meal - enough carbs? enough protein? enough nutrients? did I include fruit/milk/vitamins/minerals/iron/etc? I know that in two weeks I'll be doing everything like I've done it my whole life, but I need to be good at this.

Two main reasons: (1) I don't want to be on insulin, and my doctor said I was 5 points away from having to inject myself; and (2) I really do not want a c-section. Not because I think it makes me less of a woman (really?) but because it sets me up for a c-section if I ever have more children. And the recovery is difficult. Of course, on the plus side, my kid would have a beautiful round head.