Sleep is not a four-letter word in our house yet, but it is getting close. I remember how horrendous those first few months with a newborn were, how nobody's description could adequately warn you about the physical pain of sleeping no more than three hours in a row. If you were lucky. It was hard then, and the hubs and I have done everything in our power to return to a normal sleeping household ever since. We did sleep training with Britton once she hit solids and could sleep all night, and let her cry it out (when five minutes felt like five hours). We let her learn how to put herself to sleep, because frankly I was tired of rocking her to sleep every night. There would be a time when she hit the bed awake, and I couldn't provide unlimited rocking and shushing and swinging if I wanted her to figure out how to go from awake to asleep on her own.
Every now and then we run into sleeping issues, and they are always addressed with more sleep training. The most common issue-makers for us are traveling and sickness. Well, when Britton went to Disney World two weeks ago AND was sick during her trip, we knew the bumpy journey back to sound sleeping was going to be rough-going. Honestly, the hubs and I had no idea how hard it would be.
She started off with the typical "getting out of her bed and into ours" routine a couple of times a night. Annoying, yes, but I could just take her back to her bed and that would usually stop it for the night. Then she moved on to just wanting to get out of bed. Not to get into bed with us, not to play, or whatever devious thing she could come up with at 1:30 a.m., but just to be up. And she flat-out refused to get back into bed.
You have a 3.5 year old? How do you make her stay in her bed when she can easily get out of bed? We yelled, we threatened, we took away everything under the sun (except Winnie, never Winnie) and still it was a fight. I didn't want to keep yelling, creating a child who doesn't care if you yell because it's all she hears. Nope, there had to be a better way.
The hubs and I waited until the next night to see if it got better. No, it got worse. Finally, with no other options, we put an eye hook on her door. We would have turned the knob around if it wasn't the middle of the night. But she needed to stay in her room, away from the dangers of wandering around the house unsupervised. That night she cried for 20 minutes, and I know it was 20 minutes because I watched the clock along with the video monitor. To say it broke our hears is an understatement.
But you know what happened after 20 minutes? She got back into bed and went to sleep. I unhooked the lock in case she needed to use the bathroom, and she stayed in bed all night. Same thing the next night. And the next night.
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| Making a milk mustache! |
Now, we have the rule that if she gets out of bed even once, the hook goes into the lock. No drama, no yelling, no threats. It is just a consequence that will always be available. And when she stays in bed, we've given her special treats (cake pops from Starbucks!) and cheered our heads off for her. If she stays in bed for a whole month, the lock comes off her door.
It is one solution, and it happened to work for us. There are probably a ton of other options out there, but we came down to either putting on the lock or yelling every night and I just can't do that to her. I didn't want her to re-learn staying in bed out of fear that she would be screamed at or spanked if she got out. No, I just wanted her to learn that this is the rule and we follow our house rules. And so far, it's working great - using a lock that's only been locked for 20 minutes!
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