baby deuce: 32 weeks

This week I officially start twice-weekly NSTs (non-stress tests) and every-other-week doctor visits.  My available sick time is going to get eaten up like it's going out of style!  Above is my typical outfit these days when I'm out of work - only pair of maternity jeans without holes, sneakers for my swollen legs and feet, a stained shirt with a drip on the belly usually, and a fleece that no longer zips because I'm too cheap to buy a maternity coat.    

The pregnancy is getting hard, but not as hard as having a newborn will be, so I don't complain.   I've never been one of those people that wants the pregnancy to end so I can hold my baby in my arms.  I like being pregnant, and since it will end without my decision I just wait for that day to come.  

My gestational diabetes is still being controlled by food - no insulin.  And I somehow lost 3 pounds last month, so even though the baby went from 2 to 4.9 pounds in a month, I have only gained 12 pounds total for the entire pregnancy.  Admittedly, I had some extra junk in the trunk to begin with!

We are still stuck between two names.  The middle name will be Robert, after my dad, but the first name is still in a tie.  I think it's harder this time because there will not be a next pregnancy to use the other name on.  Meaning, since we're not having a third kid, there's no chance we will have another boy and get to use the name we don't choose.  I don't want to wait until the kid is born to decide, because I remember how hormonal and weepy I was then.  No good life decisions are made during or directly after birth!

Tomorrow we are picking up the rocker glider and extra changing pad.  I spied a great idea at Jessica's house during my visit.  She has a two story house too and keeps her changing table on the first floor.  Brilliant!  So we're putting our changing table in the living room, and an extra changing pad on the baby's dresser.  Since we will be spending the majority of our time downstairs, it just makes since to have a designated changing place for him, plus a place to keep extra clothes so I don't have to go up and down stairs all day.

i forget to remember

The other morning, on the way out the door, I noticed that Britton had on a thoroughly awesome outfit. Notice the flowered tights, pink headband, twinkly shoes, and princess necklace.  This girl is so impressed with herself, and I can't blame her one bit.  I have to let go of control when it comes to what she wears, but that's fine as long as she's weather-appropriate.  

And then it occurs to me that I only remembered this outfit by looking at photos on my phone.  Monday's pictures became Thursday's memory moment.  There was a time, not so long ago in the grand scheme of things, where I actually had film developed into a stack of photos.  Now I have photos on my phone - my 25 year old self is wondering how we got here.  I have a friend at work who tentatively admitted to me that the only photos that exist of her ten-month-old son are on her phone.  I get that completely.

When I was visiting Jessica last weekend, I admitted that I couldn't remember Britton being Emily's age.  Emily was wearing an old outfit of Britton's, and I couldn't remember Britton being small enough to wear it.  And Jessica said that she doesn't remember events so much as she remembers the photos of those events.  That struck me because it is the best description ever of how my memories are.  This isn't an issue of spending too much time behind a camera (or phone, for that matter) and not being present in my life.  This is an issue that so much of my life is taking precedence over my brain space.  Between 10 hours of work a day, remembering grocery lists and library day and making dinner and reading bedtime stories, and sitting down to catch my breath before crashing on the couch, and sneaking 10 minutes here and there to quilt or watch a non-Dora show, or whatever, my brain is getting filled up and pushing out all these great plentiful memories of my daughter.

Last year, I kept a "sentence a day" journal - where all you wrote per day was one occurrence, even only one sentence if that was enough, and it almost always revolved around Britton and her day.  I lost the journal habit when we moved, but I need to get back to it.  So many things happen that I want to remember.  Like the morning we were going to daycare and I went a way Britton didn't want to go and she got snippy about it, and then upon getting to school, out of nowhere, she apologized "for being rude."  The first time I'd ever heard the word "rude" from her.  Or the other night when she asked me if her baby brother wears clothes in my belly, and if he has a mommy in my belly with him to take care of him.  If I don't write these memories down, they will be gone forever.

And it scares me because soon it will be two kids fighting over memory space, and years of childhood not yet reached, and I'm just hoping that I don't have to look at my phone to remember it all.  

baby shower for baby deuce

I ran out of work at 10:30 am last Thursday, ready to get on the road to go visit Jessica!  I wasn't bringing Britton with me, since I was going to do a presentation at Jessica's school and there would be no one to watch her, so I didn't want to rub it in her face I was going to visit family, a trip she surely would have wanted to go on.  I may have told a small white lie that I was going to "do a presentation" (true) for work (not true) and offered no other details.  

On Friday morning Jessica woke me up at an ungodly 6:00 am to get ready for school.  One of her civics teachers had asked if I would ever do a presentation on the law for his class.  I said sure, and that morphed into me presenting to all three civics classes for five class periods.  I somewhat entertained the kids with my public defender stories and threats of juvenile court, and only had a handful fall asleep during each presentation.  I'm counting that as a success!  Unfortunately, though, I am not used to talking so much (surprise, I know) and I wound up with a sore throat and drainage.

On Saturday Jessica hosted my shower!   Cammy entertained Jason while Jessica and I decorated. And Caroline and Garrett even helped with food prep.

Sugar Plum Bakery - I love this cake!

In the nick of time, we got the house clean and decorated and ready to go.  Jessica picked up some great decorations - she had previously asked if I needed it to be "baby" themed, and I said no.  I don't really care if the shower is covered in ducks or alphabet blocks or the like.  So Jessica ran with this beautiful modern color scheme, and the decorations and table and accessories all came together well!

My aunt Jill, my cousins Stephanie and Kristen, Stephanie's daughter, my brother-in-law's mom and sister, Jessica's good friend Melissa and her new baby, and our longtime friend Jen and her son all came over to celebrate, and we had a great low-key fun time together.  Everyone grabbed some grub, hung out and caught up, cooed over babies, watched not-babies-anymore play outside, and of course we opened presents!

A canopy cover from Jen proves that new items have been invented since I last had a baby!

Jessica got me this awesome print for the baby's room!  It was the hub's and my favorite gift!

If my son is half as chill as Jason, I will consider myself LUCKY!

I got some great baby clothes, toys, an activity chair/bouncer, bottles, bathing kit, and other fun baby things.  And Jessica and my mom got me a gift card so we can go get a rocker glider and ottoman for the baby's room!  We're so close to having everything we need, minus the baby.  And definitive baby name.

I drove back today, cursing the daylight savings time for costing me an hour of my time today.  I got home in time to enjoy a beautiful 70 degree day with Britton and the hubs, watching Britton riding her bike and pushing her on the swing and the hubs making burgers on the grill.  Add to it that Britton wrote "Mommy" for the first time (hard to tell, but it's there) and my day was perfect.

Thank you again to my awesome sister Jessica for a fantabulous visit and baby shower!  I needed this weekend of laughter and fun, and I had a great time doing it.  See ya'll when Mr. Deuce makes his appearance!

baby deuce: 30 weeks

I am now 30 weeks along!  It hasn't felt like 30 weeks.  So much of this pregnancy has been different than mine with Britton - this time I had morning sickness every day of my first trimester and with Britton almost no morning sickness, this time my heartburn has been out of control, this time I've had less sleep disruptions.  But because it's my second time, the hubs and I have had a been-there-done-that attitude, and while I thought it would be helpful to know what was happening, it's also had another effect.  

While at my last doctor's appointment, it hit me like a ton of bricks that this was my last pregnancy.  Ever.  Never again will I feel the kicks inside, or throw up for no reason, or have a sinus headache every Monday like clockwork, or wear really comfy maternity clothes, or go through this entire experience ever again.  Yes, I've been through it all before, but that know-it-all attitude has also left me largely ignoring all the changes.  I was more than likely on the path of doing the same for the next ten or so weeks, only to end my pregnancy with the surprise that a baby was being handed to me.  

So yes, I am bigger, my feet more swollen, my back more achy, an hour-and-a-half pregnancy massage the only thing that has saved my ability to move lately, but I am also more aware.  And I won't so easily  from this point on let this whole experience go without the excitement of someone going through it all for the first time. 

Next week I venture to Jessica's house for my baby shower!  A trip which will also be my last time for a long time being alone in my car.  I have an ultrasound tomorrow morning and doctor appointments every two weeks from this point on.  In two weeks, I start non-stress tests twice a week.  It's about to get busy!

43 months old

Maybe it's the pregnancy, or how life ends up working out, but I have been plagued with pangs of nostalgia when it comes to Britton.  I remember so clearly how she was as a baby, and how far she has come, and the whole thing makes me so unbelievably sad because I know that some days I wished away her babyhood so she'd be easier, bigger, less work, less baby.  And now that day is here, no baby in sight, and it makes me fearful that if almost 4 years can fly by, then another 4 years can fly by just as fast.  

As you can see from her pictures, she is still doing dance classes.  She's not as interested in tap as she is in ballet and tumbling, so I have to work on motivating her to want to stay in class.  After dance class, without fail, we go to the library for new books for the week.  Over the last couple of weeks, Britton has decided she wants to accompany us to the grocery store, so instead of the hubs or me running out on Friday night, we all go on Saturday afternoons.  It takes up a couple of hours total, and ensures Britton gets out of the house in the afternoon (the snow and cold has really limited our desire to get out lately).  She likes tracking down fruit and cereal and veggies, and riding on the cart.  

This girl is TALL!

 I went in to pick up Britton from school this week, and she was playing with Wedg-Its.  I'd never seen them before, but she LOVES them, so we ordered a set for us to play at home.  Britton has really gotten into building things, drawing and doing alphabet letters on her chalkboard (and erasing with her old school eraser I found), and role playing games. She grabs her dolls, or her stuffed animals, and requests that either the hubs or I "talk" that character.

Knock on wood, but the sleeping situation is much improved.  Britton just needed firm boundaries and a  routine nighttime structure to get her back to staying in bed.  She's still waking up earlier on the weekends than I would like, but I'll take her staying in bed all night over her sleeping in!

Likes:  yogurt (makes breakfast so much easier!), Legos, helping me cook, going to breakfast with the hubs, dancing

Dislikes:  not being included, when it doesn't snow enough to sled

give me a boost



Here is Britton yesterday morning, so proud of her big girl seat!  The hubs and I have been hemming and hawing over getting Britton a booster seat.  We wanted to keep her in a carseat until she reached the weight limit (60 pounds), as it really is the safest route.  But I was fed up with the nibbly bits covering the base and the juice stains on the cover, so I had the hubs get the carseat out of my car so I could wash it on Sunday.  Bad move.

One of the chest clips went missing.  Somehow, from the garage to the kitchen, it just disappeared.  And no one sells replacement clips so we were up the creek, so to speak.  So, I went out to Target and Babies 'R Us, and finally settled on the Graco TurboBooster.  We got the "Keller" for the hubs' truck and the "Posie" (pink flowers) for my car. 

On Sunday night, Britton helped the hubs put the booster seats together, ever so eager to be a part of the process!  She held her hand way over her head and declared, "I get a new seat because I am this big and I'm too big for the little seat!"  We smiled and high-fived her and declared her to be "such a big girl!" 

a girl and her dry erase marker

The first time Britton ever wrote her own name for me was on February 4, 2013.  I kept the paper it was written on, destined for a prime spot in the baby book!  Because I don't spend all day with Britton, and she has two great teachers for eight hours a day during the work week, I don't know how she picks some of this stuff up.  One day she was showing us how she could write some letters on the dry erase board.  A couple of days later, it was entire words.  

And today, she drew her family for Memaw.  On the right of the house is the hubs, me, and Britton, and to the right of us are Sadie and Boomer (Memaw and PawPaw's dog).  To the left of the house are Memaw and PawPaw.  How sweet is that?  The amazing amount of things this girl is learning on a daily basis blows my mind!