Knock on wood, we've pretty much cleared colic! Britton is sleeping well and most importantly, consistently. Her formula is working out - no more need for gas drops or acid reflux medication. All this has left me with a content baby. And a quiet house.
I can't stand it. The only time I hear my own voice is when I talk to Britton. I don't have adult conversations during the day, which is a pretty dramatic change from being a public defender where all I did was talk. Don't get me wrong - I love being home with Britton. But I am isolated and alone for the first time in my life. When she was fussy and crying and losing all control, comforting her was a distraction, and frankly it was all-consuming of my attention and energy. But now? The house is quiet. And I am still a raw nerve, jumping when Britton cries because even though she no longer cries for hours on end, I don't trust her not to go back to it. One shoe has dropped and the other is dangling, and some days it just feels like I'm watching that dangling shoe like a hawk. No doubt my crashing hormones from quitting breastfeeding are contributing.
When we moved here, I was six months pregnant. No friends from work, no friends from college or law school, basically no friends. I have met some wonderful neighbors, but they have children and responsibilities too. And family is far away. I find myself longing for the hub's mother's visits. I need her companionship as much for me as I do for help with the baby. And some nights it occurs to me that the phone hasn't rung. Not once. And I don't always want to be the one to call.
I've checked out mommy groups, and no thanks. Lectures on easy-to-care-for houseplants? And tutorials on crafts and knitting? "Bring a snack." Really? When I hardly have time to eat? One website actually suggested going to the mall to meet other moms. Those groups belong to other people, people who aren't like me. The only thing I have in common with them is being a mom. And frankly, that's not enough.
ahhh the life of isolation. i was so stir crazy i wanted to die. you should see if there is a story time at your local library that is for 0-2's. i took reese to one starting at like 3 months. she definitely couldn't do anything, but it was great just SEEING other people. i'm kind of a loner when it comes to mommy groups too, but it made me feel better for an hour once a week. :)
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