Happy Halloween

The hub got me flowers for my birthday, among other fantastic gifts. Nothing to do with Halloween, but I thought I'd share them as they are beautiful.

Sadie got scared of the ghosts and goblins and hid in the hub's pile of clothes headed to the dry cleaners

Mandatory "1st Halloween" onesie

Hanging out with Grandma...

I HAD to get the baby pumpkin costume...


Fist in mouth, fist in mouth, all the time...

they say it's your birthday

I'm 31 today. I almost forgot it was my birthday. It's funny how as a kid you count the days down, but as an adult it creeps up on you. My sister and I always had costume parties, seeing how close our birthday was to Halloween. Seeing these parents on MTV spend thousands on their children's birthday parties, hiring rappers and gifting them Hummers - it is ridiculous. Homemade costumes, good food, and family is all you really need!

We are very excited that the hub's mom is coming this weekend to share Britton's first Halloween with us! The hub and I are dressing up Saturday and going out to dinner, the first date we've had since she was born. And my mom is coming to visit the week after, when we'll probably do some early Christmas shopping. And of course I'll load up on naps!

There have been some changes here, changes that I'll save for another post when I have the time to really sit down and write well. But don't worry - these changes are for the better, and will help me become stronger as a mom and a wife.

our weekend

Oh, how I miss the days of sleeping until noon and running frivolous errands!

Sadie gets a nap (when no one else does)...

A little play time...

A little tummy time...

The only bottles cluttering our coffee table now...

A trip to North Pole City and a smile...


Sleeping...

iMovie junkie

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the silence is deafening

Knock on wood, we've pretty much cleared colic! Britton is sleeping well and most importantly, consistently. Her formula is working out - no more need for gas drops or acid reflux medication. All this has left me with a content baby. And a quiet house.

I can't stand it. The only time I hear my own voice is when I talk to Britton. I don't have adult conversations during the day, which is a pretty dramatic change from being a public defender where all I did was talk. Don't get me wrong - I love being home with Britton. But I am isolated and alone for the first time in my life. When she was fussy and crying and losing all control, comforting her was a distraction, and frankly it was all-consuming of my attention and energy. But now? The house is quiet. And I am still a raw nerve, jumping when Britton cries because even though she no longer cries for hours on end, I don't trust her not to go back to it. One shoe has dropped and the other is dangling, and some days it just feels like I'm watching that dangling shoe like a hawk. No doubt my crashing hormones from quitting breastfeeding are contributing.

When we moved here, I was six months pregnant. No friends from work, no friends from college or law school, basically no friends. I have met some wonderful neighbors, but they have children and responsibilities too. And family is far away. I find myself longing for the hub's mother's visits. I need her companionship as much for me as I do for help with the baby. And some nights it occurs to me that the phone hasn't rung. Not once. And I don't always want to be the one to call.

I've checked out mommy groups, and no thanks. Lectures on easy-to-care-for houseplants? And tutorials on crafts and knitting? "Bring a snack." Really? When I hardly have time to eat? One website actually suggested going to the mall to meet other moms. Those groups belong to other people, people who aren't like me. The only thing I have in common with them is being a mom. And frankly, that's not enough.

transitions

This is a week of transitions. Britton has now been on formula for six days and is much improved. Her reflux is all but gone, and she's on no medications. We did make one minor adjustment - we have switched to the prepared hypo-allergenic formula instead of powder. Less corn and sugar. It costs a pretty penny, but it's worth it.

Now that Britton isn't screaming about everything, her personality is starting to show. Wow, this girl is NOT a transitioner! Upon waking from her naps, Britton hates having her diaper changed. She'll eat, then she needs cuddling and walking while she really wakes up. I remember as a kid I couldn't have anyone look or talk to me in the morning, so it seems she's following me. She is doing better at nighttime sleep and goes down around 8:30 p.m. The hub and I still hold our breath, and hopefully with consistency we can count on this earlier bedtime. She fights going to sleep at night, just like her daddy. She's fine to go down for naps (also just like her daddy), but something about the night gets to her. It's probably because she was used to just hanging out on the boob all night, and we ended breastfeeding cold turkey. So, she's regressed to needing swaddling for comfort, but as long as she sleeps it'll work.

Tomorrow morning Britton and I are going out to Starbucks! I want to start getting her used to the car, because next week we're picking up Grandma at the airport. She's really only been in the car to go to the doctor's office, and it's three miles away. We're starting out on small trips, in the morning when she's in her best mood, and hopefully moving up to longer jaunts when she stops napping so often. She's not one of those babies that'll just fall asleep where they land.

this is what a happy baby looks like

Without the reflux, Britton can finally play on her back and be happy. And she is.

Is that a smile?


Self-soothing with her hands


Grabbing hold of the rings


In the Bjorn, hat made by Auntie Jessica


Good sleep

what a week

I haven't posted in over a week because we've been barely getting sleep and eating around here. After two visits to the doctor's office, and an emergency "please come and save us from ourselves" visit from the hub's mom, we are all back on solid ground. Let me explain. Turns out Britton's reflux is most likely caused by a protein allergy, and even though I was doing the elimination diet (no dairy, eggs, nuts, or soy), she was still reacting. So, we made the difficult decision to try her on formula to see if it helped. And it did! I am still pumping until she has been on formula for one week, so we can make sure the formula is the fix. But if it is, there is no more breastfeeding for me. And while that saddens me beyond belief, and both Britton and I miss the closeness and comfort it provided, I will gladly give it up if that means my little girl sleeps more than 1 hour at a time and doesn't scream in pain all day and night.

When the hub came home last Tuesday to find me crying out of frustration, and holding a baby who wouldn't stop eating or crying, he called his mom, and she came the next day. Without her I would have without a doubt broken down and breastfed, not standing to hear Britton's cries. And I would have continued to get no sleep. But she came and put us back together. And I can't thank her enough for it.

this one's a "feely" post

Britton and I have had a fantastic day today. And to make it so, I made one big change. I turned it around. Just like that. I woke up this morning with the decision made that today would be good. And I told Britton in no uncertain terms that I would be taking over, being the mom here, and make sure I did everything she needed me to do. This mom thing is scary. No one tells you how to do it right. And I reached out to my friend Rachel, who came back with the answers I needed. I've come to realize that when you doubt yourself, you'll come to one of two conclusions: (1) I'm doing it wrong, or (2) I'm not doing it well enough. I don't think Rachel would mind if I shared a very inspiring part of her email:

she's your little one, and you do what you have to do to take care of her. she'll go through little growth spurts, so if she's crying... when in doubt feed her. she'll be fine. have more confidence in yourself. you're going to do so many wrong things to this child, so get used to it. you can't please her all of the time, and once you realize that's not your fault... sometimes they just need to cry... you'll feel much better.

Britton didn't like her Baby Bjorn when I tried it out. But her need to stay upright for 20 minutes after every feeding was wearing out my back. So I made a simple change - I turned her around.




And she likes it. That's what I've got to keep doing. If Britton doesn't like one toy, offer her another. If she wakes up every two hours one night, chalk it up to fussiness and try again tomorrow night. If she wants to feed again one hour after feeding her, go with it. And if she throws a fit in the middle of the mall, realize she isn't the first and won't be the last.




I figured out one very important aspect of parenting. I won't always do it right, I won't always know what to do, but I will keep trying. Because she's amazing and the most incredible thing I will do in my life. And she's worth it.

tummy time

Tummy time is over! Score!

We got in some tummy time yesterday! I don't do it if Britton is having a reflux-y kind of day, like today, because the pressure on her stomach isn't good. She's holding her head very well, and I have to say that both the hub and I are impressed. It's rainy and dreary and cold here today, the kind of day where you don't feel like changing out of pajamas because what's the point? I'm excited for the weekend because I'm trying out a new sugar cookie recipe and planting my tulip and daffodil bulbs. Ahhhh, I remember when the weekend used to excite me because it meant sleeping in and being lazy.

so big so fast

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

It is amazing how much my baby girl has changed in the last two months. As you can see in the video, she's moving, trying to roll, talking, and showing expressions. Whew! The hub and I ventured out to the mall this weekend to buy Britton more onesies because she's too long for her 0-3 month onesies. Did I mention that she's in the 90th percentile for length? And that the doctor was amazed by her length and started investigating our families about if we had any freakishly tall people related to us? I'm thinking basketball scholarship. But I digress...

We hit up Baby Gap because their onesies are so soft and cute. We bought 3 more sleep onesies, a footie pajama, and 3 outfits. We even made it to Sbarro, but on the way back to the exit Britton had had enough and wasn't putting up with the teenagers and other loafers around her. Earlier Saturday morning we attended my neighbor's first birthday party, and Britton was so good and awake! So I guess she was over it (and hungry) by the time our mall excursion was wrapping up.

And, in incredible did-that-really-happen news, Britton slept 8 hours last night. In a row. I'll take it!

two months

It's October 2nd, officially Britton's two month birthday. We celebrated with shots at the doctor's office, because that's how we roll in this family. Whereas her father's and my shots would have included alcohol, hers were of the vaccination variety. Poor thing cried, but took it like a champ. I got a flu shot too, to show Britton how it's done. Because everyone is scared that a sniffle is the swine flu I had to wait about thirty minutes for her appointment. Sitting on a cube. Nobody would get up and give the woman with the baby a chair! And that's probably because everyone in the waiting room was a woman with a baby. Except for one.... I don't want to be rude or judge (who are we kidding? I absolutely want to be rude and judge!), but to the lady whose two children were hogging four chairs? The floor is for kids. Or at least the grass-covered cubes. Teach your children some manners and scoot them out of the big-girl seats, ok?

On to stats! Britton now weighs 10 pounds, 9 ounces, a gain of 2 pounds and 5 ounces since birth. Her length is 23.25 inches, a gain of 2.5 inches since birth. And her head is 14.5 centimeters, whatever that measurement is for. We've gotten a handle on her gas and reflux issues, which she should grow out of soon. Britton is now moving towards a more predictable schedule as far as her afternoon nap. The morning is still a free-for-all of feeding and playing. She interacts with us now, chirping and smiling, and saying "oh" when you say it to her. She can hold her head up for minutes on end, and kicks against things - this girl is strong! She likes sticking her tongue out and enjoys napping in the swing now, as opposed to the boppy chair. Starting last night she is starting to get tired earlier in the evening, so we will be adjusting her bedtime down from 11:00 p.m. to whenever she displays signs that she's over it. We'll stick to the routine of a bath and bottle, and see how it goes. And in post-partum weight loss news, I am now down 41 pounds. That's 16 more than I gained during pregnancy! I am also adding more foods back in this week, and have learned that Britton can't handle onions. I'm trying cheese this weekend, so cross your fingers for me!


Check out my band-aids. All the cool kids have them!

some more baby cuteness

Commence the random pictures!

it's Christmas early!

We have received some truly wonderful gifts for Britton and we are very appreciative. Most recently we received these adorable items I wish I had thought to give when other people were having babies!

From L'il Jen and Garth, we got these beautiful embroidered burp cloths from ElephanToes. They include her name, monogram, and birth info. Needless to say, they will never be used because I won't risk staining them! I consider them an heirloom of Britton's, and after being displayed in her room they will go in her memory box to discover when she is older.

The hub's aunt Linda sent us this porcelain baby bootie with Britton's birth info and name around the edge. My mom actually had our baby booties bronzed, and I remember finding them and wondering how my feet could have been so small. This porcelain bootie is a keepsake, there's no doubt.


Our friends Barney and Kim sent us some WVU gear! I had actually talked to the hub about getting Britton a WVU cheerleading outfit, and now she has one. These outfits are fantastic because on WVU game day, the hub dresses in WVU gear and cheers on the Mountaineers. Now we can keep the pride alive in OK!