a long two nights

These photos are from when she was three weeks old, but because I took them with film and they then had to be developed, there was a bit of a delay. We have been in a transition week this week, and last night the girl finally broke me. Britton has been more alert this week, learning to stay awake for longer periods and take in everything around her. But with this new development comes over-stimulation, and then regression. First she had to be swaddled again, then soothed with the pacifier. For the last two nights she has blown off the 11:30 p.m. to 5:30 a.m. sleeping schedule in favor of crying at all hours of the night, then staying wide awake. Poor thing has also been moving through some big "digestions" and you can hear her belly gurgling even while she's eating.

Last night was my breaking point. She went to bed at midnight, swaddled up and full. At 3:12 a.m. she awoke to eat, and then she refused to go back to sleep. Finally asleep an hour later, she woke up within fifteen minutes to just be fussy. Come 5:31 a.m., with only three hours of sleep under my belt, the hub got up with her. He fed her a bottle and stayed home today so I could sleep, and sleep I did. For the next five hours. Let me repeat that...five straight hours. Which is a godsend when your baby hasn't let you sleep for two nights in a row.

Everything I've read says this will pass after a couple of days, once she becomes comfortable with her environment and her new awareness of it. I look at her and I don't want to be mad, I don't want to cry out of frustration, I don't want to resent her needs. And I've had each of those emotions more than once over the last two nights. So I remember back a couple of nights ago when I told the hub that it's not hard to want to be her hero. I remember that she doesn't want to stay up all night, she doesn't want to be confused about her surroundings, and she doesn't want to cry. And it helps.