doctor visit mess-ups

She smiles now, and this was all the smile I could capture...


Yesterday I had my 6 week postpartum doctor's visit. Or, at least, I was supposed to. I showed up at 3:15 p.m. for my 3:30 p.m. appointment. I quickly realized that Britton was getting hungry, and I bolted to the back of the office to feed her. I had brought a bottle because I'm not ready to try breastfeeding in public. I don't want to try maneuvering the nipple shield while holding my shirt up, all without the use of my boppy pillow. It's too much for me. So, I fed Britton her bottle and soothed her with her pacifier. I told the doctor's nurse to let me know when an exam room opened up so I could try breastfeeding her, as the bottle wasn't quite enough for this girl's voracious appetite. I got into an exam room and tried to feed Britton, hunched over a chair with her sprawled on my lap. Not going to happen. The nurse comes in, checks my blood pressure, and tells me to get undressed from the waist down.

Now, I have no intention of getting undressed until I know the doctor is walking into the room. I start imagining worst-case scenarios of Britton losing her cool, screaming her head off, me trying to comfort her all while keeping that thin sheet of material around my bare ass. Nope, not going to happen. The nurse comes in and I realize that it is now 4:30 p.m. She says something about the doctor going to an interview and she has no idea why it's taking so long and do I mind waiting a little longer? Now, I've already invested time here but I don't want to wait too long. Not that Britton has given me any indication she is close to losing it, but you never know when you're talking about a six-week-old. So I told her to see if the doctor's PA is available instead and she isn't. So I leave. And being super-annoyed at this point, I tell the nurse, "I better not get charged for this visit." Yeah, because I'm just that classy.

So, I left with no exam, and have to go back on Thursday. Ugh.

Well, this morning I notice that Sadie dog's lower lip is swollen up. Thinking she has been bit by a poisonous spider, I call the vet to get an appointment later this morning. Right before leaving Britton wants to be fed and Sadie wants to sleep on the couch. I finally get both of them in the car and to the vet's office. While trying to unload the car seat and wrangle the diaper bag, a girl who works at the vet's office is walking a dog and the dog proceeds to try and mount Sadie. I start yelling at her to get her dog under control and all she does is keep looking at me saying "oops" over and over again. I abandon the car seat and Britton to pick up Sadie and get her away from this mutt when the lady from the vet's office comes out to help. She grabs Sadie and asks if she's alright. She then proceeds to talk sternly with the girl, who I realize at this point is mentally challenged. Oy. While waiting on the vet, I give Britton a bottle to try and stave off her mid-day chow down. I notice she ate it pretty quickly, then see I didn't put the top on correctly and her hand socks and onesie are soaked. I, of course, don't have an extra outfit. I left with a wet hungry baby, antibiotics for Sadie's dog acne, and shredded nerves. I may never leave the house again at this rate! Now I must brush off this day, because today is the hub's 31st birthday and we are celebrating tonight with mexican food from Ted's. Take-out.

"Could someone order me Proactive?"