Now on to my 35th week. It is stupid hot here in Oklahoma this week - it was all of 105 degrees today! Therefore, the hub and Sadie had to leave me home for their nightly walk, since it is entirely possible I would have crumbled on the side of the road. Instead I prefer to ride my stationary bike in the air conditioning. Though, truth be told, we have it set at 70 degrees, and I still sweat if I so much as walk briskly or turn the tv channel.
My belly button still hasn't popped out, but it's really clinging on for dear life. It's now just classified as "neutral." We had our "Birth of Your Baby" class on Saturday all day, and I can happily report we survived. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, either. The nurse who ran the class was very knowledgeable and sweet. It was great to finally get a tour of the hospital and a hospital birthing suite - private rooms only people! The hub spied out the "nutrition station" which consists of ice chips (for me) and all-you-can-drink Dr. Pepper and other sodas (for him).
We got stuck sitting next to the "weird couple." You know them - he had grey socks and white sneakers, carried a book with a doily bookmark, and she had this rash all over and some generic Birkenstocks and a distinct odor. We learned about the stages of labor and delivery, medication options, "what can go wrong," and breathing exercises. It was a little weird getting on the floor and practicing breathing techniques, but the best was the massage portion. Our nurse showed us this massage technique where the "coach/partner" puts his hands on either side of your hips/butt and pushes hard - it actually feels really awesome. I turned around to the hub and said, "That's quite a workout!" (referring to the massage) and the husband part of the weird couple goes, "Hmpf! So is labor!" Now, I'm a little testy in these last few weeks, and seriously it couldn't be hotter on the face of the sun, but I don't need weird guy's running commentary in birth class. First of all, he has no idea what labor feels like because he has no uterus. Second, I wasn't talking to him. Also, right before a break, he asked a stupid long-winded question that cut into break time. I thought the hub was going to lose it right then and there, as he was having flashbacks to law school of that moron who asks a question when there's two minutes left in class, and now the whole class has to suffer and be late because the suck-up wanted credit.
Now, the best part. No, it wasn't weird guy massaging his wife with his gross large hands, undoing her ponytail, running his hands through her straw-like hair, and continuing the breathing practice when no one else was. No, it wasn't weird guy adding "and now exhale" at the end of every breathing exercise when we were practicing them (which was never a part of the technique). It was the birth video. Three women giving birth, to be precise. Totally like sex-ed videos - maybe early 80s? Fantastic! After the videos the nurse asked, "So what do you guys think?" And someone yelled, "Scheduled c-section?" The birth part of the video didn't phase the hub (the stretching left me a little parched), but neither one of us could handle the placenta part. Gross. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
So, that's been my life this week. Tomorrow I have an eye doctor appointment because the hub pointed out that I may need to rely on glasses when feeding the kid every 2-3 hours during the night, and that my glasses are from high school. Point taken. Thursday morning is another ultrasound to check on the baby's size. I'll definitely be posting pictures, and hoping she keeps her hand out of her face this time.
Wish I was there to rub that belly and talk to Baby B!!!! :(
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