sleep and my own over-reaction

Since Sunday night Britton has been pulling major shenanigans at bedtime. She started out standing in her crib for hours, only to have to be rocked to sleep. Fast forward to 1:00 am the same night and she was in bed with me and the hub was on the couch. She wanted to share my pillow, and touched all my facial features while whispering "eye," "cheek," "nose." It was so sweet, even though I was so tired I didn't know what was happening. She insisted that the only way she would fall asleep was laying on top of me. So I embraced the snuggle session and let her. We thought it was a fluke, that she'd been scared by the picture day outfit I hung on her closet door or a nightmare or the raging thunderstorm.

But no. It was the same last night. She bucked back and screamed upon finishing her bottle, fighting to keep out of her crib. The hub and I were set on her crying it out. But lo and behold, she pulled a fast one and threw Winnie out of her crib. We figured returning it to her would calm her down. In fact, it was the exact opposite. She went into hysterics and we couldn't just leave her in there. Britton came out to the couch and snuggled with every single stuffed animal and pillow. As she was tracing my cheeks and eyelids (I couldn't mad about that!) the hub frantically searched the internet to see if there was some magical scheme we could pull to get her back to bed. There isn't, in case you're in the same boat. We decided to put her back in the crib with the hall light on in case she was afraid of the dark. Upon placing her in the crib, she was mad. So the hub and I, frantic as all get out, laid on the floor while loudly proclaiming we were going to sleep. It didn't work. She just looked at us - at least she wasn't crying! - and then threw her pillows and blankets on us. Then she started making these weird noises with her mouth on the crib. We got up, told her goodnight, left the door open, and went to our room. Britton stood in her crib, and cried out for us both. We figured she'd get tired soon. We figured wrong. 11:24 pm is when she finally went to bed. After two hours of standing there, falling asleep and then waking before buckling down, crying out, and again and again.

So tonight, scared and exhausted and certain our incredible sleeper would never sleep again, we decided to play in her room to get her comfortable in there again. I also cleared all her shelves in case anything was casting odd shadows. We also showed her the inside of the closet, which she seemed a little nervous about. Finally, I put a night light in her room for good measure. Then we set out to wear her out. After playtime, dinner, bath, and bottle, Britton wanted to snuggle and rock. I did, and it wasn't until I got her in the crib - progress! - that she was upset. I told her goodnight and left the room. To get us back in there, she threw out Winnie. Then she cried for Winnie, Momma, Daddy, I think she even threw in a "Sadie!" for good measure. But try as she may, she wasn't going to train us. Not one hour after being put in bed did she finally give up and go to sleep. I'll sneak in there later and give her Winnie.

My evenings are very important to me. It's when I balance the checkbook, write bills, cruise internet gossip sites, update this blog, sew, bake, and everything else. I admit that when Britton threw a wrench into my routine, I was a wreck. I always go to worse-case scenario: it's not that I won't sleep tonight, it's that I won't sleep ever again. I was actually nervous at work all day because of what I feared may happen tonight. But I'm calming down now, getting some perspective, and shutting down the baby advice sites. All that matters is that my little girl is sleeping.