bite me

I got a call this morning that Britton had been bitten by a boy in her class. TWICE. As in TWO DIFFERENT INCIDENTS. And you know what? I was also numb to the news. Not that I didn't care about my baby being hurt, or not understanding why she is continually hurt by the people in the place I make her go. But because I can't do anything about it. We're moving in less than three weeks, and me and Grandma have been hunting for daycares on our lunch hour. There's been tons of calls, a couple of visits, and the center I've found is great. It's in a church, houses only 66 kids total, and has rooms cleared of junk so that the kids can actually walk without walking into each other.

But it's 45 minutes from where I live for the next two weeks and four days. So I can't take her there yet, and I am almost out of vacation time, save the two days I have reserved for when my sister has her baby. Therefore, no keeping her at home until we move. And you know what? I'M ANGRY. I'm angry at the daycare for hiring useless people to act like "teachers" when they are nothing like the teachers I know. I'm angry at her "teachers" for being more afraid of calling me about the biting than what effect it may have on Britton. I'm angry at the biter's parents, who can't or won't parent to a decent level. I'm angry at the other kids in her class, who could have been the one sitting closest to him and been the one to get it. I'm angry at my work because I don't get nearly enough days off to deal with the life I have outside of those nine hours, five days per week. I'm angry at our moving situation, because when every fiber of my being wants to yank her out of that center with a raised middle finger towards management, I'm stuck.

But most of all I'm angry with myself. Because I can't do what moms are supposed to do. I can't protect her. I haven't stopped this injustice, this pain, these bites for a total of EIGHT TIMES. I've let her down and I can't make it right. I can't explain anything to her because she doesn't understand. I can't do anything but be angry.