because I love my mac

I take these videos not for posterity, but to play later. When Britton goes to college. And I need to watch something while chugging wine and crying about my baby leaving. But it'll be ok. Because Harvard will be her back-up school.

the fourth week

We made it four weeks! I still can't believe it has been that long since I had her. The hub and I were at the mall yesterday getting him a new shirt for his annual Vegas trip, and the saleslady asked how old she was. I had to think because my first instinct (almost four weeks) seemed wrong. But it has been that long, and it has been amazing.

The hub and I have gone through quite a transition as well. Back in law school we went out to Law Caucus every Thursday night. Law Caucus was a night out for law students, rotating through different bars in Morgantown, with drink specials ending in being hungover in Friday morning classes. Did I say morning classes? We didn't make it to those. Damn you Professor Ashdown and your stupid attendance policy! But I digress...in Wheeling, Virginia Beach, and Charleston, and everywhere else we've lived, the hub and I have gone out - to dinner, for drinking, what have you. But now, after the baby, we stay home. Because she's too unpredictable for more than a trip to the grocery store, and I'm still scared to be the mom whose baby is screaming in the middle of Barnes and Noble. So, we rent movies. And because we don't go out, we're left with on-demand movies. By the way - "Knowing" and "The Soloist"? Don't bother. Save your money. And we watch our DVRed shows. That's parenthood folks!

And it was during "The Soloist" that I discovered that my sore right boob was actually a clogged milk duct hanging out to wreck my night. I painfully fed Britton off of that side, used warm compresses, cried, pumped, rubbed it, whatever I could think of to make the pain stop. And by pain I mean someone had a hot metal poker inserted into my boob and was turning it. Yes, that's what it felt like. Luckily, at 4:30 a.m. while Britton was eating, I could feel relief coming, and now it's almost back to normal.




"No more pictures. Give me back the milk source."


Stats on Britton - I don't know what she weighs because we don't have a doctor's appointment until October 2nd. But Granny, and the hub's uncle and cousins stopped by this weekend, and Granny confirmed she has gotten bigger. Britton is also following objects (and still the ceiling fan) with her eyes. She is also spending more time awake and alert. With that, we have now encountered gas issues, and every time she scrunches her face in pain I want to brand myself "horrible mom who gives her baby gas." Sorry, dairy - I missed you during gestational diabetes, but you give my baby gas. No more cereal, milk, cheese, fage yogurt. I'll miss you all.

Thursday fun

Britton and I have had a great week. The days blend together, I don't know the date or even care, and that's fine with me. My days are taken over by Britton's eating habits, which aren't really habits yet. She eats every two hours during the day, except when the clock strikes 4:00 p.m. Then, it's whatever happens happens. She grazes, eats every hour, then cluster feeds as much as she can, followed by dozing off. Other times she's wide awake and easily entertained by the ceiling fan. I don't complain. I relish holding her as she falls asleep, watching her dream, or whatever babies do when they sleep. What is it exactly babies dream about? I don't resent the needs she has, as I know that too soon she will push me away in her independent twos, and completely ignore me as a teen. She lets me hold her as much as I like, and I'll take it.

Nights are going great. She takes a bottle (about 2.5 ounces) of breastmilk at 11:00 p.m. and sleeps until about 3:30 a.m. Last night she slept until 4:00 a.m., then back up at 7:00 a.m.

She still keeps her hands near her face when she's sleeping, just like in utero.




And here she is after her bath...

Cammy

As you know, my mom came to visit this past week. Never one to let a moment go by without some sort of documentation, here is video of my mom with Britton... I know it's long (over 2.5 minutes) but the cuteness that is Britton cannot be contained to a mere minute. I know, I'm biased.

too funny

I just had to share these two youtube videos with you! The first one is the banana rap, which my sister Jessica introduced us to. Her son Garrett found it, she showed it to us, and I haven't been able to get the song out of my head since. In fact, one night when I was up late breastfeeding, this song running through my head was the only thing that kept me from falling asleep. You'll love the winks!



And this one......the hub, Jessica, and I lost it. Lost it. If you've seen the Snuggie commercial, you will totally relate to this video. Enjoy!

the third week

Britton finally lost that gross raisin-looking umbilical cord thingy, so we dragged out the "whale of a tub" to give her a proper bath. Can't say that bath time is her favorite...



But she does enjoy the baby lotion massage following the bath, and the 98.6 degree feeding afterwards. My mom left on Friday morning after visiting for the week. We had a great time - didn't go out much except for the doctor, but accomplished a lot of bonding hanging out at home. Britton loved laying on Cammy, and she is going through a little snuggle withdrawal at the moment.

Poor Britton has been battling gas issues since last night. For the first time ever, Britton awoke after her final night feeding before 3:00 a.m. (it was 1:30 to be exact) and wanted to feed more. I was in a foggy haze, and believed that the hub telling me the baby was hungry was a dream. No such luck. But it was nice to have the hub join me on the couch during that feeding - at least Britton picked a weekend night. We think we have traced the gas issues to the Nathan's hotdogs I ate last night. I did not eat hotdogs at all during the pregnancy (something about the nitrites, I think), so it makes sense in hindsight that they would upset her system. Everything I ate during pregnancy Britton has already sampled in the amniotic fluid, so to introduce new foods in breastmilk isn't a good idea now. We'll end up with a fussy baby, which is what we got. So, no trip to the mall as planned!

Britton has gotten more alert now, and stays awake for hours at a time. We have face time, where we face her and talk to her. She watches my mouth move and hears my voice, and I love the way she puckers her mouth at me. Tummy time has been sporadic, whenever she lies on my chest and wants to move her head. And Britton can now track objects if I move them slowly very close to her face.

Good news - I am now three pounds below pre-pregnancy weight! That's right - I lost the pregnancy pounds, plus three more. I only gained about 25 during the pregnancy, so it wasn't like there was a ton of weight to lose, but the diabetic eating (which after the gas issues I will be even more stringent about) plus breastfeeding means no more pregnancy weight. However, I have not ventured into regular clothing yet. I just really couldn't handle the disappointment. I may have lost the weight, but things have shifted and skin is not elastic. Plus my maternity shirts make great breastfeeding shirts because they are so big. So, I'm giving myself until my 6 week postpartum appointment to pull out the regular clothes and store the maternity clothes.

a trip to the doctor

Cammy, me, and Britton ventured out of the house today for Britton's pediatrician appointment. This makes her third weekly appointment, but the doctor wanted to check out her weight. She weighed in at 8 pounds, 5 ounces, a whole ounce more than her birth weight. And for those doing the math, she put on 8 ounces in 7 days! Turns out that when she cluster feeds at night, she really needs a bottle. During the day I pump milk, and that extra bottle (2-3 ounces) of breastmilk following her 11:00 p.m. feeding fills her up. She now sleeps in her hammock at night, going to sleep until her feedings at 3:00 a.m., 6:00 a.m., and 9:00 a.m. After her 9:00 a.m. feeding she naps until her noon feeding. Lately she has been quite awake after her noon feeding, sometimes staying awake for hours. Her next doctor's appointment is her two month check-up. After her doctor's appointment, Cammy treated us to ice cream (well, me).

Britton's sleep hammock from Arm's Reach. Love it. Her own movements - kicking her legs mostly - rocks the hammock and puts her to sleep.


We've learned with this latest batch of thunderstorms that Britton sleeps best when the storm is raging. We had a horrendous thunderstorm on Monday night - tons of lightning and thunder. Poor Sadie was losing her mind, but Britton slept from midnight until 6:00 a.m.!

I think Britton has now peed on everyone. When she gets a cold breeze down there while we change her diaper, the dam breaks. Smart parents we are, we've now stocked up on changing pad covers.

I'm not going to lie to you - we really lucked out with this baby! The only time I've heard her cry is when I'm taking too long to change her diaper or she decides she has to eat immediately. And they aren't even real cries - more along the lines of a "let's move it here!" order.

more baby

We did a photo shoot for Britton's birth announcements yesterday. Here are some of the better pictures I captured:



Little hairy ear...

Auntie Jessica made this hat for her:

Sadie, never to let someone else get attention, had to get in on the photo shoot:

Long skinny feet, just like her momma:

Surprise!

the third wedding anniversary

Yesterday, August 19th, was my third wedding anniversary. It was also Britton's original due date, so we figured if anything we'd be getting two celebrations! It doesn't feel like I've been married three years. Should it feel like a long time? Because it doesn't. Over the last three years we've moved countless times, changed jobs, bought and sold houses, found Sadie, and had a baby. Not bad! I love my hub so much, and seeing him as a daddy for the last eighteen days has made me fall in love with him all over again, in a new way. We're best friends, partners in crime, and together we even make going to the grocery store fun.

We had agreed not to do presents, but of course that didn't happen. I got the hub the new "Fast and the Furious" movie, blue-ray edition, and what did he get me? A beautiful David Yurman necklace with peridot, our daughter's birthstone. Needless to say, I underspent.

the second week

Britton is now two weeks old. Here are some of her recent photos...

With her ever-present arm to the face. You remember the ultrasound pictures obscured by an arm? She still keeps it close to her head at all times.

Cammy came to visit! She'll be here until Friday, and Britton has already made her feel welcome by blowing out a diaper for Cammy to change.


Baby legs! Love Love Love them.

Hanging out with Daddy.

sleeping

You wish you could sleep like this! I know I do.

the sneeze

I couldn't resist posting this video. Here is Britton and her daddy this evening, hanging out before dinner. Check out the sneeze midway through - it'll melt your heart. Britton is all of twelve days old today.

is it Friday already?

Twelve days old...

We had another pediatrician appointment yesterday to check on Britton's weight. She now weighs 7 pounds, 12 ounces, which means she gained five ounces from last week. That's ok, but not great, as they would like her to be at birth weight (8 pounds, 4 ounces) by two weeks of age. Turns out that her fussy period around 11:00 p.m. is her telling us she isn't getting enough to eat at night. Starting at 5:00 p.m., she starts chowing down for the night, eating every two hours. By 11:00 p.m., I don't have anything left. So, last night the hub gave her a bottle of my breastmilk. She woke up a little over an hour later for some more, then she sacked out for the next four hours!

Her weight is in the 60th percentile, her length (still 20.75 inches) is in the 70th percentile, and her head (13.5 inches) is in the 25th percentile. Jessica assures me that babies grow at varying rates, and that these are normal.

Speaking of Jessica, she sent me a beautiful gift! Here is a necklace she gave me, complete with a "B" monogram and peridot birthstone. I love it and wear it every day. Thanks again Jessica!



We went to Edmond Hospital today for a jaundice test. She didn't cry when they pricked her heel! I did warn the tech that if Britton cried, I would cry, so maybe Britton heard me and decided to avoid the embarrassment.

birthday girl

Today is Sadie Barkington Bogle's third birthday! Back on August 12, 2006, Sadie was born outside Canton, Ohio with one sister and one brother. I would say she has adjusted well to the baby, though I think she was certain that Jessica would take the baby when she left. Sadie, however, has not adjusted to the numerous thunderstorms we get here in Oklahoma. We're still working on that!

Happy Birthday!

your daily dose

Could she get any cuter?! Lucky for me, Britton is now feeding about every three hours at night and no longer tries to stay awake from 2:00 a.m. until 5:00 a.m. Knock on wood! She is also staying awake longer in the evening, and eating a ton between 5:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m. We have a follow-up doctor's appointment on Thursday to check on her weight, which should be no problem.

my birth story

As much as I would like to continue my hibernation indefinitely, to do nothing but stare at my little girl, I must hunker down and get my birth story written or else I may forget the details. And I don't want to forget a thing. It started at 10:31 p.m. on Saturday night, August 1st. The hub and I had been everywhere that day - walking through the mall, going by Babies 'R Us (which was closed) and driving around. We had even stopped by Braums for a cheeseburger and blackberry and almond yogurt cone (gestational diabetes be damned). Perhaps we somehow knew our independent adult-only freedom was coming to an end. We went home and settled into watching tv, me stretched out on the couch. And I got up to pee, which sent a gush of water soaking my pants. I grabbed my pants, staring at the hub wide-eyed. Neither one of us said it. I offered that perhaps I had peed myself and went to the bathroom to investigate. I laid back down, still not ready to think that this was it. Laying on the couch again, another gush. FInally, the hub said it. "I think your water broke." It was so tv movie-esque. Did you know that only about 13% of labors start with your water breaking? The hub grabbed the hospital bags to finish packing and I called my sister to let her know what was happening. The hub and I hurried around the house addressing our individual chores, him packing and me doing dishes (nesting kicking in) and the nervous energy was palpable. FInally I called the hospital to tell them that I thought my water broke, and they told me to come on in. I knew that my water breaking meant no laboring at home, no warm bath with my iPod, so I wasn't in a rush to get to the hospital and leave home.

The hub packed the car, loading in our bags, pillows, everything I was told I would need and would later never use (the make-up never came out). We put Sadie in the bathroom, freaking her out even more. I grabbed the video camera and started filming once we got into the car. I focused it on the hub, who was at this point profusely sweating and in complete disbelief, as was I. We made our way to the hospital, a twelve minute drive that felt like routine. We wondered why we weren't more scared, more scattered, more shocked. Once at the hospital, we were instructed that the hub should drop me off and then park. No, I wanted to walk with him and we walked in together. After preliminaries, I told the nurse I would miss my belly. She said no one had ever said that before. In the exam room, it was determined that my water did break, so we were quickly admitted to a birthing suite.

At this point it was right after midnight. My nurse, Lauren, who I loved, was right there to monitor me and hand me paperwork to fill out. My doctor let me off the fetal monitors for thirty minutes of every hour so I could walk and move. At this point, I was not in active labor and had no contractions. But my water breaking put me at risk of infection, and normally labor won't be allowed to progress past twenty-four hours. I was up against the clock.

The hub and I walked the hallways, him pushing my IV station and me waddling. After thirty minutes of walking, I was given pitocin to kick-start my labor. I knew it was necessary, but I also knew that it made an epidural imminent. My labor started moving, and I continued to get up, walk, sit on the toilet (it opens the pelvis) and lean over the bed. My doctor, who was delivering next door, stopped by around 1:30 a.m. Based on the fact that I was only dilated one centimeter when my water broke, she predicted a twenty-four hour labor. By 4:30 a.m., I was only three centimeters and in extreme pain. My contractions, spurred on by the pitocin, were on top of one another, giving me no time to recover. All of my muscles were tensed up, and I was unable to get out of bed because of my shaking. I laid on my left side and gripped the hospital bed and the hub's hand, and just rode out the contractions as best I could. I was exhausted. And at 6:30 a.m., I got an epidural.

The hub and I took the opportunity to nap after the epidural. I was awoken at 8:30 a.m. and found to be 5-6 centimeters. At 10:00 a.m., I woke up with low cervical pain and was checked. I was fully dilated and completely effaced. My doctor was called (we later learned she was in church at the time and never received the message) and I practiced pushing with the nurse. That was quickly abandoned once we figured out that this baby was ready. FInally my doctor arrived and we were ready. Well, not me. I asked the hub if we could just keep her inside me, that I wasn't ready to do this. Up until that point it was figurative, and in a few minutes it would all be real - too much for my tired mind to comprehend.

A mirror was put at the end of the bed so that I could see what was happening. My pushing improved when I could see the progress myself. My contractions were coming regularly, and because the epidural had worn off some, I could feel them on my own. After thirty minutes of pushing, I saw the baby's face out, facing down, and squeezed by the pressure. One more push, and the shoulders were out as she flew into the doctor's hands. She was immediately placed on my chest and covered with blankets. She let out a scream and I was in shock - she was real. The hub and I looked at each other. We did this. We made her.

Her heartrate was high - over 200 beats. Instead of whisking her off to the nursery, the nurses decided to put the baby on my chest, skin to skin, to see if she could self-regulate by my heartbeat. She did. In thirty minutes her heartrate was down to 145, completely normal range.

In a couple of hours my epidural had completely worn off and I was able to walk. I wanted out of that bed so badly. The hub and I strolled to the nursery to get Britton and brought her back to the room for a visit with Josh's parents, grandmother, and aunt.

It was over so quickly. The birth was textbook - no emergencies, pretty much following the grainy video from birth class. But it was completely consuming. I studied this little person who had been inside me - a stranger, but for my knowledge of her kicks and hiccups. And I didn't even want to blink for fear of missing something - a sigh, an open eye, a wave of her hand at the side of her face. I am utterly and completely in love.

the pirate

Hiccups at two days old, pirate eye at five days old. Here's a video of Jessica playing with Britton. She has an affinity for only opening one eye to give you the old "squint eye." We've taken to affectionately calling her "the pirate" when she does this.

the cutest

Britton, in all of her eight days of life, has had the hiccups maybe fifteen times since birth. She was a hiccuper in utero, and apparently carried the habit over into life. Her hiccups are the cutest thing ever.

the first week

Britton is now a week old. This week has flown by, and my overly-hormonal self is tired but happy. My sister Jessica came to visit last Monday, the day we left the hospital. Suffice it to say, last Monday night was the most interesting night, as I really had no idea what I was doing. Since then I have been averaging anywhere between 4 and 6 hours of sleep per 24 hour period, and I can feel that pretty soon it will hit me. I can honestly say that without Jessica's help I may not have made it through that first night. Britton is happy to feed at 1:00 a.m., then stay up wide-eyed until 4:00 a.m., with a few more feedings in the meantime. She may have her day and night mixed up, but it is up to me to adjust to meet her schedule. Me, the hub, and Jessica made such a strong team. But Jessica left today, and the hub goes back to work tomorrow. Tomorrow starts the first week where it will be just me and the baby all day.

Breastfeeding is going well. Jessica helped me through the difficulties, and without her I may have already turned to bottles. But now that I have gotten the hang of it, and Britton has proved to be a strong eater, I am finding myself addicted to breastfeeding. It is our special time, and I really do treasure it.

We have another doctor's appointment this week to make sure Britton is gaining weight. I have been pumping between feedings, getting a good amount of milk, so I know that she is getting enough to eat. Jessica taught me to swaddle her, which makes her so content.

I find myself so utterly and completely in love with this little person. I miss her when I am in a different room. I had no idea what this process was all about, and now I find that it is even better than I could have ever imagined. I feel like the words to describe this haven't been invented yet.

the baby

My water broke on Saturday night at 10:31 p.m. I was pretty sure I hadn't peed my pants, if only because I haven't been able to pee more than a trickle at a time in three months. But, I changed underwear and laid on the couch to see if it happened again (as per instructions from google). It happened again, and off we were to finish packing the hospital bags.

We arrived at the hospital and were seen in the temporary room, and once the fluid was determined to be my water, we were moved to a birthing suite. Now, I had broken my water, but I wasn't in labor. No contractions, still one centimeter dilated. So, I was given pitocin, which I knew was going to make an epidural-free labor difficult, if not impossible. My doctor predicted a 24-hour labor. The hub and I walked the halls, swayed, he massaged my back - anything to get it going on its own.

I'll provide the in-between later, with more coffee and more sleep, but skipping to the end, I was ten centimeters by 10:00 a.m. the next morning, pushed for thirty minutes, and Britton August Bogle was born at 10:56 a.m., a mere twelve hours and twenty-five minutes after my water breaking. While waddling the halls, I compared the whole thing to planning a wedding - months of waiting and planning for something that lasts minutes. You just hope you remember every detail, and that less important memories will fade so you have the gift of reliving the moments. The birth was surreal, it was world-changing, it moved me in a way I had no idea any other person could. I am forever changed by what I actively created and experienced, and the whole thing - the conception, the nine months, the labor, the birth, and the baby - all perfect.

Daddy:

Proud grandparents:

Four generations:

Arriving home:



Auntie Jessica:

My baby girl:

Look at that mouth:

She works her magic on Jessica and makes her pass out:

First (of many) Diaper Genie trash runs:

First bath and massage:

Heading to the pediatrician on Wednesday morning:

Flowers from the hub's work: