why have kids?

Is there really a good answer to that question? Or is it so personal that the reasoning may not make sense, or be justified, to someone else? I can think of some really good reasons to not have kids. For instance:

- to have someone to love me (a favorite of thirteen-year-olds on The Maury Show)
- to make my boyfriend marry me/get a job/never break up with me/return my calls
- I'm bored
- I'm tired of working and child support would pay for a new car
- it's easier than just burning my money and crapping on my own furniture

I was thinking about it the other night, while feeding Britton her last bottle and rocking her. It's dark, quiet, the sound of ocean waves coming from the iPod, and it is above all peaceful. So my mind tends to wander because I'm not distracted by work, by the tv, by the phone, by the dog. And I started thinking about why people have children in the first place. Is it a primal instinct, to breed and populate the species? But if that were the reason, we'd be essentially picking and choosing instincts to follow. No, it can't just be instinct. Because it is expected? I can't stand behind this either, as in today's progressive world women are choosing whether or not to marry, getting higher education degrees, making more money, and enjoying more independence. There's little reason to have a child to simply fall in line. To please others? What a massive undertaking just to please another person. I would hope this wouldn't be someone's reason, as I can foresee a lot of resentment in the future of both mother and child.

So, why did I have a child? I don't know for sure. I wanted her, that much is obvious, but there was more to it than that. I wanted to see the family I chose in the child I chose to have. I wanted a second childhood, to see the world through innocent eyes. I wanted to know pregnancy, to know labor, to know birth. I wanted to experience that instinct of protecting another person with your life. Above all, I wanted to create a legacy, someone who would inevitably and hopefully survive me, who would be my witness that I was here, that I lived, that I loved, that I existed. And because I did, so did she.