a love letter to 221 elmhurst

The movers came this morning.  By mid-afternoon, everything in the house was in neat stacks of boxes, ready to get loaded into the truck tomorrow.  Tomorrow evening, this house will be empty, save a suitcase of get-me-through-the-week necessities and the pets.  By the time the sun rises on Friday morning, we'll be gone.  It will be deceptively quick, not dragging on as I suspected it would when I don't have a television to distract me.  I sit on my couch, and the house is so quiet.  Barrett is asleep, and Britton is off playing with neighborhood friends she won't see again after tonight.  It's past her bedtime, way past, and I can't bring myself to go to the front door and call her in.  Because I know her face will crumble, and I know she'll cry.

I offered that Britton could sleep with me tonight, but she doesn't want to - she wants to sleep in her bed, she wants to "say goodbye" to her room.  She's moved twice since she was born, and this move, her third, will be the one she might remember.  This is the first move that makes her sad, not just losing her friends but also her school, her Memaw and PawPaw, and the places she has come to know.  Familiarity is hard-won, and it has taken all of the last four years to get to the point where I see people in the grocery store I know, every now and then.

We're all saying goodbye.  Not just to friends and neighbors and a Daisy troop and co-workers who won't be co-workers anymore.  Britton speaks in "last times" - the last time we'll go to the pool, Fun Fore All, the library, karate, her bedroom.  It's ten minutes later and I still can't face making her come inside, saying goodbye to her friends for the last time.

Losing something makes you love it more - the rose-colored glasses have been on my face all week.  But I do love this house.  I wouldn't have chosen to leave otherwise, and I did believe there was a good chance my children would run down that staircase every Christmas morning.  My neighbors are excited that "the new family" has children, will no doubt fit right into the spot we'll leave.  I just hope they love my house as much as I do.  I want them to sit on the deck and look out over the yard and know that this year, finally, the flowers finally came into bloom and the yard has never looked better.  I want them to hate the neighbor's German Shepherd, and roll their eyes every time the dog barks at nothing.  I want them to be amazed at Christmastime, when all 303 houses light luminaries down their sidewalks and everyone climbs into their cars to drive slowly around the neighborhood.  I want them to be so ill-prepared for Halloween that they only buy one giant bag of candy from Costco for Halloween, and vow not to make that mistake again - two minimum, for sure.  And to drag their chairs to the end of the driveway so the kids don't have to climb the front stairs, and compliment every costume as if they know all the children behind the masks, and when their kids get tired of trick-or-treating they make some hot chocolate to warm up.

I'll miss all of that, and more.  This is the house I brought Barrett home from the hospital to.  This town's name sounds like a magical homey winter wonderland, and while it isn't the first place I've lived that has snow, it's where I taught my children how beautiful snow can be.  Change has always been hard for me, probably because not a lot changed in my life growing up.  Change isn't something I hope one day to be good at.  I look around, at the boxes and piles and sleeping Sadie and I'm trying to memorize this place.

from the outside looking in, cleared off bookcases and boxes

Tonight, it is real, it is finally sinking in.  I will have to say goodbye and I won't want to.

barrett: 37 months old

Wasn't I just saying that I seem to be completely incapable of posting Barrett's monthly pictures on time?  Seriously, it's like I'm calendar blind.  Poor second child!  As you can see, this boy is into everything lately - from Mickey Mouse to princess wands!  He is in love with our neighbor, a girl who plays with Britton often, and follows her around waving at her.  He will gladly play with Barbies and dress up in princess crowns in order to be around Britton and her friends!

Barrett is also moving and grooving on his numbers - he can count to 20!  Well, if you don't require "15" or "18", which I don't :)  He enjoys reading books with me, and recently discovered Dora the Explorer.  While Barrett has his three-year-old moments, they are far and few between - he is sweet and snuggly.

Barrett loves being outside, going on walks, being at Memaw and PawPaw's place, and chasing the cat.  His favorite books have some interactive element - feeling fluffy animals, lifting flaps, things like that.  Trucks and construction equipment grab his attention immediately.  His current favorite song is "The Wheels on the Bus."

Likes:  bananas, birthday cake (all cake is "birthday cake" now!), hugging Sadie, snuggling, dancing with Britton, painting

Dislikes:  when Britton won't let him play with her and her friends, putting on pajamas, being told no (he'll look at you with big hurt eyes and say "I no can like you anymore" - at first it tugged at my heartstrings, but 500 times later, I now find it endearing)

britton's last day of first grade

First, let me just say that I cannot apparently read a calendar, and my last post on Britton's monthly picture was in fact one day early.  Which is way better than me constantly missing Barrett's monthly picture by days!

Here is Britton on her first day of first grade:

And on her last day of first grade:

I just put her back in bed, and she was crying about how much she misses her teacher.  Oh, I remember those days, so I couldn't give her too much grief for being up past bedtime.  Her teacher is pretty great, and certainly one that we will measure future teachers against.  

When the kids got off the bus today, some moms were ready and waiting with filled water guns and ice pops to hand out!  I didn't know until this morning that this is a tradition on our street.  A neighbor at the other end of the neighborhood who I work with said that their street hands out Dairy Queen Dilly bars on the last day of school!  These are the things I will miss when we move.  

I will also miss Britton's bus driver.  He is old, at least in his seventies, and he always had a smile for the kids.  I've never seen the man in a bad mood, and no doubt this daily interaction with the kids keeps him young.

Well done, Britton.  You completed your first year of school!  You've grown so much this year, and this year has been the best foundation for the rest of your education.  You're reading, doing math, telling me about viscosity!, and letting me overhear you tell Kayla that Kale is your boyfriend.  And you laughed when I called you out for liking a boy named after lettuce, because it's still ok for your mother to be involved in your interactions with friends.  Not so much as a teenager, but hopefully we've got years and years before that comes.  You fell in love with school this year, you think your teacher hung the moon, and this positive outlook will hopefully carry you on when school gets hard, when the teachers aren't the best, when homework isn't fun anymore.  

82 months old

Britton is gearing up for her last day of school this Friday!  Her class had a celebration today, and she showed me her work from September compared to her recent work - the changes are remarkable!  Her writing, spelling, punctuation, and such have improved so much.  Though admittedly I will miss the little kid scrawl!  The best thing to come from this school year is that Britton loves school.  She looks forward to attending, respects her teacher, and actually enjoys doing her homework.  Having that foundation will greatly help her when it's not all sunshine and roses first grade!

One of Britton's brackets came off, and then the wire promptly dislodged.  This was of course during Memorial Day weekend!  I got her to the orthodontist and she got the bracket and wire replaced.  She also got to pick new band colors - lime and lilac.  I used to love picking out my band colors, though after three years in braces it got a little old :)

Likes:  braces, her BFF Kayla, playing with the cat, reading chapter books with me at night

Dislikes:  coming home for dinner when she wants to play with Kayla